So this was when I first get to practice the SLR. I called our cat with the usual code we have to get their attention, “ming!”
It’s adorable how despite this kitten’s typical hyped behavior, I saw an innocent and a gullible one. Yowhooo! :3
And oh oh by the way, see how amazing her eyes are! The other’s a bluish one, while the other one’s gray, I guess.
It’s October 3rd! You don’t say?
I’m home alone again! My mom and my sis left for the mall. And I am here feeling all responsible with the house, waiting for my another sis to get back from school.
Do you get this lovely feeling?
I don’t know. I used to hate being all alone at home but this cold-cloudy-but-sweet weather’s got feeling so soooo light. Hihihi! Add the matching playlist of my favorite girl voices from Mandy M, Michelle B, Hayley W. and Avril L <33333
It’s not the lonely feeling. It’s the responsible feeling of being alone. I don’t know but maybe you get these sometimes. Luh~
Wonderful afternoon! And I’m halfway getting used to our non-communication. No bitterness. It’s like the ‘okay’ situation. Ha!
Heyyy, it’s just me here! Anybody? Bring food, pretty please? <3
Before actually keying in a blog post for my first day of October 2012, I made sure I have reached October 2. Luh, nonsense~
It’s only the start of the month but God has showered His abundant blessings on me and my family already.
May waffle, may pizza, may saging, may buko blended juice. And more than just food, He’s giving me more.
I’m also feeling a difference in my devotion time with the Lord. I get so fulfilled and then I realize I don’t need anything more, I only need God alone.
Here’s one thing I was mindful about. I was praying for this a lot of times already and still I believe in my God’s will - that if He does not give it to me, it’s not for me.
It started last Sunday. I was planning to give everything up.
So there were no texts, calls and even messages. It hurts me why he didn’t even care. I let it pass by. Tiniis ko. I had to. The whole Monday there was no communication. And I’m glad it made me get used to it. Until maybe he didn’t take it, because he started it. It was a different feeling ‘cause that time unlike before, it sounded real. It felt real. I knew he was sincere.
Though, I’m building my guard on. I want it back. Not falling for things that could get me any worse.
And I leave it all to You, Lord. Not my will but Yours be done.
"I feel like giving up on my life sometimes. And then I do. I give it up to God." <3
Ciao! All in all, I know I have joy and will continue seeking it in my Lord and not to anyone else again. I had a great start for this month. And the beautiful gloomy weather, yes. <3
I get a lot of these, honestly.
And here’s one result I got today - I failed and it was all my fault.
Ayoko na rin sanang pag-usapan but in a second thought it’s a good start for getting back to blogging, again.
See, napapansin ko ngang every end ng month ako biglang babalik. Kewl. Well, nvm.
Call me ‘mababaw’ or smth, pero yung pagiging regular student ko yung pinanghahawakan ko. And now call me mababaw again, or a loser, pero I felt like I was falling apart. OA pero inayakan ko and then I realized I was that weak.
My bad. Hindi ko pinasa yung finals namin. I expected it.
But everything struck me late this afternoon.
Na ‘pag bumagsak ako hindi na nga pala ako regular.
Na kailangan ko palang ulitin yun, babayaran ulit.
And I was filled with fear. My knees were weakening when I was keying in my password for my student account. Before stuffs were loaded, my dad called.
MY DAD CALLED.
Naiyak ako lalo.
Daddy ko yun eh. Baka sabihin nyo, ‘what’s the big deal?’
He was about to go back to the Philippines this year but he stayed abroad just to sustain our family’s financial needs. Lalo na yung school ko ang lakas kumain ng pera.
Ayun, he told me that he just sent the money in. Naiiyak ako pero ayokong bigyan siya ng sad news so when he was talking to me, I seemed okay. I pretended to be okay. I forced myself to be okay.
Kasi nagloko ako. Kasi hindi ko naisip yun. Kasi natakot ako ipasa nang late yung finals baka jombagin ako nung prof. Kasi selfish ako.
Hindi ko makalimutan. Like, ‘pag naging okay ako parang sinasabi kong mare-reset lahat and realizing hindi na pwede. Wala na lahat.
Tapos yung masakit, hindi lang yung parents ko yung na-disappoint ko.
I failed God again. I failed Him. I disappointed Him.
It felt bad but it’s so overwhelming how His Word can turn everything alright.
I was already feeling terrible this morning about my grades. Pero binitawan ko lahat kasi hindi pwedeng pupunta ako ng Church na dala ko yung bigat.
God told me to stop holding them, and I did. Because how can I worship Him with my hearts on chain? Thank You Lord, You have set me free, indeed ♥
And when my worries came chasing me again after I got home, I prayed. I turned into a page from ‘Our Daily Bread’ and He knows perfectly what He must tell me.
Then His peace came flooding in.
Hurts. But thank You Jesus because You love me no matter what.
I’ve been meaning to post a lot here already but whenever I remember I will, it’s already way too late and way too early for the next morning.
See, we just had our first photography classes last term. Too bad I don’t have my own SLR yet but I am grateful our family has one to use. I’ve been practicing and I guess I managed to get some way-to-go shots. Lewl. So, maybe sharing it here wouldn’t hurt, but how I can possibly share them to you when you’re all asleep and I’m here throwing them nowhere. Wait, what? Anyway, I’ll just have the right time to post it, or not. Would see if I could try it later.
So what’s with this post? Oh, you know how it feels when you’ve got a lot to do and it bores you to death? Too bad. It doesn’t feel so cool. But hey, these are the moments when I get hyped to type a blog entry or smth. Why shuffled thoughts? I dunno. I just type what comes inside my mind. I get so distracted with thoughts so I try to keep them but whenever I do, they all disappear. Now I guess typing them right away would help me wind up and practice focusing. Oh yeah.
Hey, I’m currently busy doing my vector drills. I don’t know, but I really feel I am quite improving with arts. It feels so different, and cool. Ha! And I feel a little bit bad about someone. It hurts. I deny it. It hurts even more. Not good.
Tomorrow’s a Sunday. I mean, it is Sunday already. My favorite part of the week. Why? It’s so goooood to praise the Lord. ♥ Troubles are cast away, worries fade away. And it’s so fulfilling to celebrate it all for Him. My school thought of having Sunday classes but God surely knows what to do. I prefer having the term extended than to spend my Sundays without coming to the Lord. I’d be really saddened. God is my pure joy and happiness. God bless everyone!
I’m actually tired of this.
W-wait! Hello there! Before I start telling you about it, I wonder why the last days of the month always make me, unconsciously, open my account. Oh, it’s sad how tumblr used to be a part of my daily life and now, it’s just any ordinary account I don’t really necessarily open. I really really used to first open this site before anything else. Mem’ries. Now, tell me how to be back. ‘Cause I yelled I think a month ago here about making my time here and now look what I have done.
By the way, I’ve got this really cool subject called scriptwriting. I don’t know how he does it, but our professor has made me a lot more interested in writing. My excitement for books have awakened once more. Ha! Well, I still constantly am passionate for the Bible. Nothing compares to His Word I read as He speaks to me.
I’m on the verge of creating a story for a short film and making a blog entry would surely help. At least I think it would. So, I’ve got plans on continuing the stories I used to make, some fanfics I spent effort on, and ideas to be combined. Also, my friend and I were planning to join the MMFF short film contest or smth. Ugh. I don’t know. I barely express things specifically when I’m this excited, and especially when I know this part should probably an intro for my post. Haha. So here it goes…
Well, I only wanted to tell you about another PC reset they made two weeks ago. It hurts, truly. And it hurts me more that they think I was only crying for worthless things. But I guess they don’t understand how clingy I am to my files I tried hard on finding, downloading and keeping. My fault, I didn’t learn from what happened before. So please, could anybody here come and buy me an external drive? Hohohoho.
Hello! Oo, ‘wag kayo mag-alala, nagtatagalog pa rin ako. Practice practice din ng English. So ayun nga, nood tayo The Ring 3D? Grabe, taon inintay namin ng mga kaibigan ko dito oh. ‘Wag na palampasin. Ampf. Ang random. Atlis, sa pagiging random ko, naibabalik ko na ang sigla ko sa tumblr. Uy, ipagpatuloy and nakatutuwang gawaing ito! Ahe. Ahe. :3
Hello! Oh definitely, I really love including ‘Ciao!’ in my greetings.
Actually, it’s been a week since the start of the term break, and oh yes, the Lord continued to strengthen me to strive through the simplest year of my college life (according to my professor, mehehe). He has destined me for something great and yes, I am sure, as He promised. I praise Him for He has made me maintain the regular status in my college. I would never have done that alone; through the thick and thin, the pain and hurting, He was there.
This week, as a part of putting my devotional life to another level, I decided to stumble upon the dearest moments with my God, spending an hour ( which is three times longer compared to the time I give Him before) just to devote and cry my heart to Him. It’s so fulfilling, once you’ve let it all; and then there’s you sharing it to your friends and eventually hearing from them the same experience. ♥
And I guess it’s also a great time to talk about the new lives my life has tangled with, the old people who were physically away but still remain there anyway. Stories! Deep and memorable stories, I’ve got lots! I even listed topics on what I was planning to blog or blabber about. And truly I am sorry for opening my blog last three months and somehow forgetting what I promised - that I will make this blog blast or something. HA. HA. HA.
Just waiting for the playlist to finish made me think of making this. Guess not all of you are interested to read but hey, please try once. WHAT?! HAHAHA.
I left my English Mode on. Cause yes I do blog in Tagalog, too. Hello!